Christen (our co-founder), speaks to us about her decision to have nipple tattoos. She says why, 2.5 years post-op, she finally felt she was ready, and what her experience was like.
I lived for 2.5 years without nipples. Just plain boobs with vertical scars down the middle. The scars started off red, brown, frankenstein-y. They faded, to a very thin silver line on the bottom, and a thicker red line at the top.
People ask me why I eventually decided to get nipple tattoos. Was it something profound? An acceptance of my body? The next step to body confidence? Nah, it was purely cause I was taking my top off in front of more dudes.
I actually didn’t mind having no nipples. I saw it as a bit of a novelty, something that made me different from others – I’ve always embraced being a bit quirky. After all, what’s the point in having tattooed nipples when they serve no function?
My advice to all, before getting tattooed nipples, is learn to love and accept your body without. The nipples are not there to replace anything, they are more like a cherry on top of the cake.
So, there I was. Finding myself in some totes awks situations where I hadn’t told dudes I had no nipples and really didn’t want THAT chat in the heat of the moment. You often need to bare your soul when talking about BRCA, and, quite frankly, I didn’t want to a lot of the time.
At that time, I felt the only thing that really gave my mastectomy away was the lack of nips. However, don’t think I was doing this to please others… I also thought it was time for a new adventure. My very first tattoos. PLURAL of course.
New Years Day 2022 – New Year, New Resolution; New Nips. I started my research.
My biggest fear at this point, was getting a tattoo that looked like a drawing of a nipple. Like, I had some rubbish illustration of a nipple on my chest. So, I did an Instagram shout for recommendations, and the people delivered… Tanya Buxton. I think the deal breaker was that someone told me they were flying from the U.S for her internationally famous nipples.
New Years Day, FWD 10th June. In paradise (literally Paradise Tattoo Studio, what a place to be). When I had my mastectomy, and went under anaesthetic, they asked me where I wanted to be, I went to Indonesia in my head. So, to finish my journey in paradise, with Tanya, was perfect.
Did it hurt? The question on EVERYONE’S lips. I can report. It did. I shall take a moment, to vent my frustration – I have NO sensation. I have no feels. I cannot be aroused by my boobs. But I COULD feel the tattoo. Come off it. It was a strange sensation, and certainly more painful over the scar tissue than other parts. I also had a weird feeling down the side of my body (nerves are fun old things). But it wasn’t unbearable. Dare I say, an enjoyable feeling of electric shocks?
Tanya’s magic, complete. I always imagined I would cry when I first saw my nipples. But it was strange, because I didn’t feel like I was looking at my own reflection. I felt really detached (whilst being WOW-ed at how amazing they looked). It was like being impressed by someone else’s tattoos.
The verdict is in guys. I have shown A LOT of people my tattoos. They have made my close friends cry with pride. They have made husbands and Dads of my friends awkward because they look so real. Some of my mastectomy pals who kept their nipples said mine look more real than theirs. I guess my faves, when I asked a guy I was dating about whether he thought it was weird that I didn’t have nipples, he responded “but you do have nipples”.
And I feel complete. In a way that I didn’t realise I wasn’t. I looked in the mirror this morning, 6 weeks post nipples – and smiled – I look amazing. I never thought I would say that pre-op. I really feel like I have boobs again. I asked one friend if my boobs looked real – she said “no. they look too good to be real!”. x
Thank you to Christen, you can find her IG @brcachatter and give Tanya a follow too at @tanyabuxton. Don’t forget to leave any comments and likes below.
