Today we want to shine the light on another of our wonderful fundraisers. Introducing Marj- one of our Scottish Buddies who ran not one, but TWO half marathons (in TWO DAYS!) to raise funds for BRCA+ Chat.
Running for More Than a Finish Line
By Marj Clark
Before I knew I was BRCA2+ I was many other versions of myself which are, and remain, the core of who I am beyond the part of my DNA that is MIA.
I had become a runner during the first lockdown, which was also when my mum got her 2nd cancer diagnosis (she’s in long term remission, so grateful for this). Running became my internal metronome to help me deal with everything that was going on back then – a routine when we weren’t allowed to socialise, an outlet for my mental health, the feeling of movement and being present in my body when other aspects of life felt beyond my control.
All of this has led to some wonderful experiences over the years. Running with friends, taking part in The Great Scottish Run and other half marathons, the parkrun community, and my running club at home, the Slowies. I’m built for stamina and not for speed, but I get the job done.
It took me a long time to test for my genetic status, which was born out of fear but I’m pushing 40 now and wanted to find out where I can hopefully take action or catch something early, let’s hope it’s the first of these 2 outcomes! I can’t sugarcoat everything – knowledge is power to prevent cancer, but the road can be long and bumpy for many of us; while you wait for surgery and navigate SO many decisions, medical pathways, anticipatory grief for your body.
What helped me as I wait for my first MRI was deciding to sign up for 2 half marathons back-to-back – why not create another challenge amongst challenges?!
I ran the Superhalfs series in Prague (28th March) and Berlin (29th March): 2 of my fave cities. I dreamed about doing Berlin for so long and it’s a popular half marathon. When I got into both I chucked myself headlong into it.
I didn’t train enough – and the big races time you out (I had to complete Prague in under 3 hours and Berlin in under 3hrs 15 minutes). I have other chronic health challenges so I knew this would push my body to its limits, but it felt SO GOOD doing it. I didn’t know if I would do it. Prague had a “slow bus” sweeping slower runners off the track so they could open the roads again. Seeing that bus was terrifying for the runners, because runners are determined people who want their medal that they’ve earned! But the bus for me was the biggest metaphor for being BRCA+. You’ve got this slow, creeping bus in your sights, gaining on you stealthily, and you need to outrun it. This wasn’t lost on me, and the sight of the bus propelled me over the line, as well as the support from my pals from home, and other runners I met that day.
Berlin was thrumming with people, and the heartbeat of the city goes through me every time. I was tired and had tight muscles for this one, but the support of the crowd and some gorgeous messages from back at home saw me to the end. Support is everything – whether you’re doing a big run or navigating a health journey. A small message that someone sends that doesn’t feel like enough is everything. Receiving messages and being reminded of strength will disrupt a thought spiral and make someone feel like they can overcome a challenge. It’s simple but it works. I felt surrounded by love and pride all weekend, and it meant everything to me.
I’ve always wanted to run through the Brandenburg Gate. I have built so many memories and versions of Berlin over the years, of friendships and ghosts of myself at different times in my life in the city. Music maniac, party crasher, writer, friend, tour guide and tourist. When I realised I was about to finish the 2nd race I broke down at the Brandenburg Gate. It’s the last big run I’ll do in my body as it is, it’s the last time I’ll be this version of myself before the medical stuff increases. It hit me like a wave, with the roar of the crowd around me, how the city was split and broken and healed itself; the ghost of where the wall was now marked quietly under your feet in gold lines. I think what parallels Berlin and a part of my soul that will always love it is that it’s not trying to hide its scars, it’s not striving for perfection. There’s something honest about it, and so joyful, that as a city and culture it’s always felt so unashamedly itself that you could be any age or stage of your life and it takes you in, every time.
I’m proud (and insane for not training enough for this – seriously, train!) I like to push my body the way it pushes me. My health is a massive challenge and it can feel like a barrier to my own freedom, but I want to run into a future where I can reduce my risk, take care of the machine my soul is housed in, get through the gate and over the line. My pal and I walked along the Berlin Wall at Eastside Gallery and I found lots of boob art all around me; women reimagined as winged goddesses of the sky, Dada-esque and reassembled, and I thought about what we live through in this community and how it tests our metal, how strong we are, what community means.
Support is everything, and the BRCA+ Chat community has given me something that the standard medical journey of this doesn’t have the full resource or time to deliver. Mostly that is hope, and that is the thing with wings. Waking up to my cousin sponsoring me a HUGE amount of money, having one of my best pals beside me, and having a raft of people to help me along the way made it a weekend I’ll remember for the rest of my life, and I’m proud that I’ve raised £1050 for a charity that has given me knowledge, pals, a sense of belonging and strength to carry me through the next gate. And seriously – train, my muscles were screaming at me a week later!!
Without our incredible fundraisers, we wouldn’t be able to support all of you. Thank you Marj, you are amazing! xxx